Domestic Violence Survivors - Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence

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Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence - MCEDV

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There's no excuse for domestic violence

Many people who experience abuse ask these questions:

Is it my fault?
No. There is no excuse for abuse. The victim is never to blame. Domestic Violence is a crime. Violence against a family member or intimate partner is considered battery and the perpetrator can be arrested and prosecuted.

Affirmations

·I am not to blame for being
beaten and abused.
·I am not the cause of another
person's violent behavior.
·I do not like or want abuse.
·I deserve to be treated with
respect.
·I don't want my children to grow
up to batter or be battered.}
·I deserve a safe and happy life.
·I am not alone. I can ask others
to help me.
·I have options.
- From the Support Network for
Battered Women

Will it get better with time?
Research shows that without intervention the incidents of abuse often become more violent and frequent. In most situations, the pattern of power and control continues to persist and becomes more dangerous.

If I change, will the abuse stop?
No. Only the abuser can stop their violent behavior. Qualified batterer intervention programs may provide knowledge and skills to stop violent behavior, but only the abuser can decide whether or not to use those skills.

If he stops drinking or taking drugs, will the abuse stop?
No. Although your partner may need treatment, the abuser still chooses to be violent. It is recommended abusers partake in both a batterer intervention programs and a substance abuse program.

What can I do?
Take care of yourself by asking for help. Call your local domestic violence project.

170 Park Street, Bangor, ME 04401 Phone: 207-941-1194 Fax: 207-941-2327 Email: info@mcedv.org

Statewide Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-866-83-4HELP

This project was supported in part by Grant No.2001 DW-BX-0083 awarded by the Violence Against Women Grants Office, of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Points of view in this document are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the official position or policies of the U.S. Department of Justice.