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The abused person may show some of the following signs, as a direct
result of the abuse.
| Physical |
Unexplained injuries, hidden injuries, bruises, black
eyes, sprains, broken bones or teeth |
| Emotional |
Anxious, upset, depressed, tearful, jumpy, angry, worried, restless,
quiet, or confused |
| Social |
Avoiding people, not answering the door or phone, cancelling
events, getting into arguments |
| Financial |
Overdrawn account, foreclosure or eviction, wage garnishment |
| Legal |
Frequent court dates, divorce, child custody problems, child
abuse investigation |
| Work |
Absences, tardiness, sick days, a decrease in work quality, unable
to complete tasks, becoming isolated from coworkers |
Try the following steps when talking about abuse:
| 1. Tell her what you see |
"I noticed a bruise on your arm..." |
| 2. Express concern for her |
"I am worried about you." |
| 3. Show support |
"No one deserves to be hurt." |
| 4. Refer her to a help source |
"I have the phone number to..." |
| Just Listen |
Listening can be one of the best ways to help |
| Keep it Confidential |
Don't tell other people that she may not want or
be ready to tell. If there is a direct threat of violence, tell
her that you both need to tell someone right away. |
| Provide Information, Not Advice |
Give her the phone number to the National Domestic
Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or other local
resources. Be careful about giving advice. She knows best how
to judge the risks she faces. |
| Be There and Be Patient |
Coping with abuse takes time. She may not do what you expect
her to do when you expect her to do it. If you think it is your
responsibility to fix the problems, you may end up feeling frustrated.
Instead, focus on building trust, and be patient. |
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